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Twitter-Feature: The sarcastic view on Capitalism

Negative consequences of capitalism on Twitter: Sarcastic, short, funny, sad and witty tweets of @_Capitalism_.
Gehad Hussein | 30.10.2011
Officially, capitalism is an economic system characterized by private or corporate ownership of capital goods, by investments that are determined by provate decision, and by prices, production, and the distribution of goods that are determined mainly by competition in a free market – according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

That’s boring. It is probably the most professional answer someone could give, but it is boring.

Other than that, it does not show how the content of the word “capitalism” affects our daily lives.

On Twitter, Capitalism-opposing account “@_Capitalism” has tried to bring the negative consequences of capitalism closer to the masses, by tweeting about it in 140 characters at a time. Below are some of the most interesting tweets - of course, all copyright of “_Capitalism_”, who identifies himself/herself as “This is my house, this is where I speak my thoughts, this is where I brutalize the masses.”

- I am capitalism and the Arab world is like a carcass ready to be infested with capital; ply open the Middle East.

- I am capitalism and when the revolutionary talk gets serious, I press a button and a celebrity commits suicide, to distract the masses.

- I am capitalism and any celebrity who steps out of line, for one second, for one minute, for one sentence will be sentence to anonymity!

- I am capitalism and polygamy is a sin because it reduces the number of houses, tvs, fridges and beds sold every year.

- I am capitalism and Saudi Arabia will only fall when I fall, that's why they're pumping more oil to keep the stock market rally going.

- I am capitalism and if you want to succeed in my society then you better be prepared to put all your being aside and become a mental slave.

- I am capitalism and I am the reason why Karl Marx was not deemed good enough to be a minor journalist at the London Times.

- I am capitalism and I am the reason why you are always thinking of the winner and never the thousands upon thousands of people who lost.

- I am capitalism and successful writers are not the best writers, they are the most obedient and submissive to the whims of capital.

- I am capitalism and while you're throwing your poodle a birthday party, there are children dying of starvation: Free Market Economics.

- I am capitalism and I am the reason why some people spend more on dog food than entire families spend on food.

- I am capitalism and there is nothing more chilling than the feeling of having your assets frozen.

- I am capitalism and revolution terrifies the upper classes for the same reason that poverty terrifies the middle classes.

- I am capitalism and what are you but someone who makes a little bit and rushes to spend a lot.

- I am capitalism and you are nothing unless you have enough money to buy something.

- I am capitalism and goods are God and ideas are pure evil.

- I am capitalism and war is very good for the economy, because its result is an increased need for labor and productivity, to rebuild!

For more sarcastic tweets about Capitalism, follow @_Capitalism_ on Twitter. Sad, funny and true at the same time, these comments certainly move humans to look at the bigger picture.
Img of Gehad Hussein
About the author: Gehad Hussein

Former Editor-in-Chief at Egypt Business Directory and Freelance Editor at Ahram Weekly.